(Thumbnail image from KendraCanDraw Tumblr)
As some of you may already know, I like watching YouTube. It’s one of my favorite things I like to do near the end of the day. I like watching vlogs, lookbooks, tutorials or anything else I find to be interesting!
And as some of you may already know (again) I watch a lot of female YouTubers too.
So watching them so many times a week…sometimes everyday depending on how many times they upload, I begin to see certain patterns, characteristic traits and just their overall life of how they act or what they do on a daily basis.
But some of the things that I have noticed with some of the YouTubers that I have watched (faithfully or non-faithfully) was some of their outlooks on women. I know that sounds kind of weird, but I have came across a lot of YouTubers who have done get ready with me’s or just normal vlogs that have mentioned that they can’t get along with other girls, and that they were bullied by girls when they were younger. They often say that girls are too catty, they gossip too much and that they can only befriend guys because they don’t cause drama like girls do.
And I have seen this multiple times since I watch so many female YouTubers, and seen how they view other girls in a very negative or almost jealous way, but don’t view guys in that same light. Which is not healthy considering that they have a very large female based audience!
But this goes beyond famous YouTubers on the internet, but everyday, average girls that I have seen this with too, that think the same way. Thinking girls are bullies, gossipers, fighters or lairs and having a mentality of “I don’t trust her”.
That’s why I thought to make a post today addressing this issue, and give some type of solution and advice to fixing this problem; to hopefully help people wake up and stop ignoring this dilemma.
Parents need to step it up
To end this epidemic of girls not supporting girls, we first have to start with the ones that are allowing this in the first place. Which are the parents.
Girls don’t just grow up to be bully’s for no reason, it stems from something. And yes, a good percentage of it does have to deal with media, their neighborhood, but it also comes from a large percentage on how their parents/household treat them, and what influences they put on them while growing up.
Parents and other older figures need to teach girls to uplift other girls, instead of tearing them down or letting other guys or people influence their daughters. And by no means am I saying to encourage them to not hang out with other guy friends or not have any type of male contact, because that’s extreme. But I feel like they should encourage them to be respectful to everybody they come across, but especially themselves and their own gender, since that is who they are and will always be.
Girls having this inner feeling to be competitive, fight or bully other girls can only develop if that’s how they were raised. So once they have a foundation of not wanting to fight or belittle other girls, it will break the cycle of broken girls breaking other girls.
Another way to stop the epidemic of girls suppressing other girls, is intervening between situations that you know you can prevent or help with. Whether it’s in your school, at your home or online, call out that girl who is doing the damage to another girl, and speak up for her if she’s to shy to say something back.
You don’t have to fight or scream at the girl who’s bullying, but you can break it up by trying to reason with their actions, reporting it to a higher official, or even asking God (yes God) to intervene with the situation.
I know I don’t bring this up often on my blog, but prayer really does have power, so if you see something that’s distressing you that you know you can’t break up physically or verbally, God has the power to be your battle-axe to fight for you and that other person too.
Finally, girls have to remember to support each other. That means talking to each other, encouraging each other and complimenting each other. We have to stop being pitted against our own gender and believing that guys are only friends when there are thousands of women that are not out to get us.
And I know making friends in general is hard, since like-minded people aren’t the easiest to find. But supporting doesn’t always mean being buddy-buddy with a person.
You can support by following another female blogger/YouTuber that you think has great style. You can buy a product by a female owned business. You can give a girl a compliment on her outfit, hair, nails, etc. Supporting can be small or big, but as long as you put forth that effort of trying to support fellow girls that’s all that matters!
Because something as little as talking to your sister or mom about something positive that happened in your day, can lead you in the right direction.
So to conclude this post, I just want to say that we have to break the bent of knowingly or unconsciously passing negative things down, or teaching other girls this. If girls don’t have proper role models or discussions of how bullying their own gender can become dangerous, the cycle will never end, and there will always be this pit against other females. Women and girls are awesome and deserve respect from anybody, but do need some type of guideline or support from their own kind.
And I know there’s other types of bullying going on constantly and not just this type, but today I just thought to address this issue, and show some awareness, advice and encouragement to my fellow sisters.
xoxo – Arianna♥